“For years, I lived in shame, wondering if God’s mercy would ever find me. But I never expected it in the middle of my own suicide.”
How the broken are overcoming depression and attempted suicide through Christian recovery programs like The Master’s Touch Ministry in Chicago.
“No way. I never thought the word precious applied to me.”
By all accounts, Demetrius’ life looked blessed. But for most of it, he carried around a deep, painful secret that no one knew. He wore it like a tremendous weight around his neck…
Shame. Unbearable and unrelenting washed over him, pulling him down like a ton of bricks. But it wasn’t always like that, at least in the beginning.
Demetrius was born in Chicago.
Later, he spent his early childhood in Mississippi. Raised by his grandparents, he rarely missed a Sunday at church. Life seemed good.
However, after a move back to Chicago in the seventh grade, something changed. Drinking and drugging became a problem at a very young age.
In a few short years, both would send him to jail. A few months after his release, he started a job. It seemed he had finally turned a corner.
He was dedicated. Hard-working. Demetrius was beginning to experience real success in his career and in life. He got married and went from an Apprentice to Journeyman Plumber.
But eventually, alcohol and drugs reentered his life. And, so did the voices. Over the years, his world and the loving relationship with his wife began to deteriorate. Just as Jesus says:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
~ John 10:10
One night, it got so bad that he decided to kill himself.
Just before Christmas, he mixed a lethal combination of pain and sleeping pills with a fifth of whiskey and went down to the basement to die.
There, in the far corner was a mountain of plastic bags that had accumulated over the years. He tunneled deep into the discards, burried himself, and slowly went to sleep.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~Isaiah 41: 10
Later that night, his wife Janice was at her wits’ end with despair. She knew the man she loved was in deep turmoil and it was destroying their marriage.
Finally, she confided in a good friend she car-pooled with on a particularly long drive that things weren’t very happy at home. She worried about Demetrius. But nothing she tried seemed to help.
“Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
~ 1 Peter 5:7
There, sitting in the cold at the end of her driveway, she cried as the two women prayed. Her friend, a strong, spirit-filled Christian, sensed God’s prompting and asked if there was anything she could do for Janice.
“Nothing. Just pray that Demetrius would find happiness and maybe someday, he would help her clean out the basement.”
She managed a slight laugh to ease the tension. They hadn’t been down there in years.
“I’ll help you,”her friend encouraged, “Maybe you’ll find something really precious down there!”
With some reluctance, Janice finally agreed. The basement seemed dark and undisturbed in its neglect. Slowly they made their way through the bags. Then a terrible discovery.
“Demetrius?”
His hands were cold and lifeless. It seemed futile as the two women tried desperately to perform CPR until the paramedics arrived.
But finally, a heartbeat…
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live”
~ John 11:25
Later the next day in the recovery room, Demetrius finally awoke and was greeted by a police officer. Surprised to learn he was still alive, he slowly began to tell the officer he needed to get something off his chest.
His conscience forced him to confess to a crime he had committed many years earlier.
That confession led him from the hospital bed to a jail cell where he served the next ten years in prison. While there, he joined a Christian recovery group and became closer to the God he abandoned.
‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool’
~ John 11:25
Early in his sentencing, he saw some literature from Wayside Cross Ministries, and he never forgot it.
As his time in prison was coming to an end, he knew deep down, he wanted to go to Wayside. But the prison staff and his family wouldn’t help.
Using all the goodwill he generated from his plumbing skills at the prison; Hugh finally persuaded the warden to let him call Wayside Cross Ministries from his office.
He was given permission, and soon entered the shelter’s Master’s Touch recovery program for men.
The following year at Wayside’s recovery center for men, Demetrius thrived. He was voted Resident of the Month, Valedictory Speaker at graduation and is now serving as a Resident Assistant in the maintenance department where he has become indispensable to the staff and other men in recovery.
Today, the chains of the past have been broken for Demetrius and others like him, thanks to people like you who believe in the power of prayer and the saving grace of a loving Father.
Instead of your shame, you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance
~ Isaiah 61:7
In his own words, Demetrius says, “I got so much here, I wanted to pay Wayside back for what they have done for me. The 24-months that I have spent here has made a big impact on my life.”
Now, Demetrius is a member of a local church near Wayside, and he and his wife plan to settle in this area when he finishes his time in phase four of the Master’s Touch recovery program.
He is grateful for the support he has received and knows the role donors, staff, volunteers, and each mentor plays in the men’s lives. It’s been two years now, thanks to the Grace of God and the generosity of Wayside’s supporters. Hugh now lives a transformed life!
“If God thought I was precious enough to save, so are you. No matter what we have done, or what we have experienced, He will never leave us nor forsake us. We only need to call upon His name. If I learned anything in the Master’s Touch Program, that’s it….We are all precious in his sight.”
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If you enjoyed this story and want to learn about other lives that were changed, click: Stories of Hope & Recovery
If you know someone in need of a safe place to recover and rebuild their lives call Wayside Cross Ministries’ Lifespring Center for Women or Master’s Touch for Men at (630) 892-4239.
Master’s Touch Ministry offers men like Demetrius restoration and recovery from brokenness, addiction and homelessness, and is just one of six ministries dedicated to serve Christ through His people in need. We also provide ex offenders a transformational pathway to rebuild their lives. Join us in this journey of helping to transformed lives. Learn more about the Master’s Touch men’s recovery program, shelter and training facility.
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Phone: 630-892-4239
Fax: 630-892-3799
Email: info@waysidecross.org
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